


Stay With Me

by beepbeepeddie



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gay, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reddie, Slurs, Tags Are Hard, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-01-13 09:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21242210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beepbeepeddie/pseuds/beepbeepeddie
Summary: “Stay,” Richie asked again, causing Eddie’s eyes to open back up, bringing him back to the present moment.His eyes went down towards their hands; Richie’s grip was loose, yet firm, as if he was scared to let go. “I can’t stay, Richie. You know my mom would flip if I didn’t come home. She’d think I was dead or something.”“Please,” Richie’s eyes opened and met Eddie’s. They had been friends forever, and Richie knew it would never be how he wanted it to be. Yet, despite that, he couldn’t help but ask the smaller boy in front of him to stay with him. He was scared to be alone, especially after today. Bowers had never hit him that much, that hard. Richie really thought he was going to die and he thought Eddie would have to watch. He could never tell Eddie how he really felt, but he sure as hell would try to get him to stay.





	1. Chapter 1

“Stay,” the boy grabbed Eddie’s hand as he tried to walk out of the room.

Eddie looked down at Richie. His eye was still swollen and purple and his lip was busted open. No matter how many times Eddie had tried to wipe it away, the blood kept coming back, trickling down his chin. Bowers had gotten him good today- they had been walking home from the arcade when they ran into him. Eddie’s eyes squeeze shut at the thought.

_ “Sup, pansies,” Bowers had yelled. It was typical of him to bother them, constantly making jokes they were gay since middle school. They were used to it by now, but it seemed to bother Richie more when it was just him and Eddie. _

_ “Fuck off, ass hole,” Richie had tried to walk by Bowers, but the older boy grabbed Richie’s arm and threw him against the wall. Before Richie or Eddie could do anything, Bowers had thrown the first punch, then the second, then the third, and he didn’t stop. Eddie was screaming Richie’s name, doing everything he could to try and pull Bowers off of his best friend. Fear bubbled up in his throat as he watched Richie stop fighting back, letting Bowers hit him over and over again. Eventually, a cop car drove by and wailed its sirens and Bowers ran. Richie had slumped down to the floor and it took all of Eddie’s strength to pull him off the ground and drag him home. _

“Stay,” Richie asked again, causing Eddie’s eyes to open back up, bringing him back to the present moment.

His eyes went down towards their hands; Richie’s grip was loose, yet firm, as if he was scared to let go. “I can’t stay, Richie. You know my mom would flip if I didn’t come home. She’d think I was dead or something.”

“Please,” Richie’s eyes opened and met Eddie’s. They had been friends forever, and Richie knew it would never be how he wanted it to be. Yet, despite that, he couldn’t help but ask the smaller boy in front of him to stay with him. He was scared to be alone, especially after today. Bowers had never hit him that much, that hard. Richie really thought he was going to die and he thought Eddie would have to watch. He could never tell Eddie how he really felt, but he sure as hell would try to get him to stay.

Eddie didn’t answer right away. Wouldn’t it be weird if he stayed? He had stayed over before and sometimes they slept in the same bed, but it was never just the two of them. They had always had their entire friend group over, and if it did just so happen to be just Richie and Eddie, Eddie usually made a bed for himself on the floor. He had thought about climbing into the same bed as Richie plenty of times before, but he had never imagined it happening like this. Not with Richie bruised and barely able to keep his eyes open. “Where would I sleep, Rich?”

Richie said nothing and instead scooted over on the bed so there was just enough room for Eddie.

Eddie’s heart skipped a beat. “Okay,” he whispered, moving the covers back and climbing in. He had to focus on his breathing in order to keep his heart rate slow- he didn’t want Richie to know how nervous being in the same bed as him made him. 

“Thank you,” Richie was half asleep now. He rolled back over so his head landed on Eddie’s chest. His arm fell across the smaller boy’s torso and he relaxed, feeling safer in his arms. 

Eddie froze as Richie moved, afraid he would scare him away if he let him know he liked this. Eventually, he let his hand tangle in the boy’s curls and his other arm wrapped around Richie. “Don’t get blood on my shirt, Chee,” he joked, but Richie was already asleep. Eddie wrapped his arms around him tighter, not wanting to let him go. He had never seen him so scared, so vulnerable, as he had today and it scared him. Richie was his constant and he had never imagined he would be the one taking care of him. But he liked it. And he didn’t want to let go, so he held onto him until his thoughts stopped and he drifted off to sleep.

When Richie woke up, he couldn’t remember the night before. His whole head hurt, from his forehead to his chin. It took him a moment to realize someone was holding him and once he did, the previous day came rushing back to him. Leaving the arcade, running into Bowers, losing consciousness, and asking Eddie to stay.

_ Holy shit. _

Eddie was fast asleep under him, and Richie didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to wake him, but he felt like he was going to barf. He had asked Eddie to stay. He had grabbed Eddie’s hand and asked him to stay. And if that didn’t reveal how he really felt about the other boy then him falling asleep on his chest definitely would. 

_ Fuck. _

Richie’s breathing quickened and he needed to move.

Gently as possible, he moved Eddie’s arm off his chest and snuck out of the bed and headed straight to the bathroom. He didn’t get a chance to look at himself in the mirror before throwing himself in front of the toilet, immediately vomiting into the clear water. His head was spinning, his heart was racing, and he felt numb. His hand reached up and flushed the toilet and he gently leaned himself back against the wall. His breathing was jagged, and he could feel himself spiraling. He knew he was gay- he had always known, but he hadn’t told anyone. He hadn’t told Eddie or his friends or his parents or anyone. And he just woke up lying on top of his best friend, and he didn’t know how Eddie was going to react. All he could imagine was Eddie rushing out of the house, disgusted at the whole thing.

“Holy shit,” Richie whispered aloud, burying his face in his hands. He recoiled at the touch of his own hands, though, gasping in pain. 

Slowly, he stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. He was _ fucked _up. 

His right eye was almost completely shut and incredibly purple, and the bags under both his eyes were a deep blue he didn’t even know skin could turn to. There were cuts scattered across his cheeks, and his bottom lip was busted open. Richie didn’t know how he had any teeth left after seeing his lip. It was cracked right down the middle and there was still dried blood lingering on his chin.

He reached a hand up and gently touched his lip, eyes wide as he took in the reflection in the mirror. He didn’t want Bowers to get to him, but his entire face was bruised and broken, all because he was gay. Richie watched as the tears swelled up in his eyes, but before they fell down his cheeks, he heard a small voice coming from the bathroom door.

“Richie?” Eddie had woken up.

Richie turned to him slowly, scared to face the boy he had known his whole life. He didn’t want anyone seeing him like this, but especially not Eddie. Definitely not Eddie, the boy who fainted at the mere mention of blood. He wanted to tell him he was sorry- sorry he had to watch Bowers kick his ass, sorry he asked him to stay, sorry he had woken up cuddled up against him. He tried to formulate some kind of sentence, but “It’s bad, Ed,” was all he was able to get out.

Eddie nodded and took a small step closer to him. He didn’t know what to say to Richie. They had just slept together in the same bed. Sure, they had slept in the same bed at sleepovers sometimes, but Richie had never curled up next to Eddie the way he had last night. All he could do was look at him. His brown eyes were barely noticeable against the blue bruises and there was still dried blood on his chin. What was he supposed to say? He watched his best friend get hit over and over and all he had done was stand there and yell and weakly pull at Bowers. 

He just kept hearing Richie’s voice from the night before. _ Stay _, he had whispered. He had said it so softly, so gently, it had pulled at Eddie’s heart. Holding him had felt good, it felt right, and when he woke up to find Richie was gone, Eddie felt cold and like something was missing. “I’m sorry,” it was a simple statement, but it was the only thing that felt right to say.

Richie shut his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. “You should, uh, you should probably go, Eds. Your mom is probably worried and stuff, and school is soon,” he blinked his eyes open and looked at Eddie. He didn’t really want him to go, but he couldn’t stand to let his best friend see him like this.

“Oh, uh,” Eddie didn’t want to leave, but he knew Richie was right. If his mom was panicked, she wouldn’t let him leave the house after school or use the house phone, and then he wouldn’t be able to check on Richie. “Okay.” Before he left, Eddie quickly walked over to Richie and wrapped his arms around his waist. His head reached just up to Richie’s chest, so he let it lie there for a moment, listening to the soft heartbeat that seemed to pick up the longer they stood there.

Richie hesitated before wrapping his arms back around Eddie, pulling the boy closer to him. He buried his head into Eddie’s hair, breathing him in. They had hugged before, but never like this. Never with Eddie gripping onto Richie as if he was afraid to lose him, and never with Richie holding onto Eddie for comfort. Neither of them wanted to let go, they wanted to stay in that moment, holding on to each other, for as long as they could, but Eddie pulled away.

“I’ll call you after school, okay?” Eddie asked. All Richie did was nod in response, afraid any comment he made would make Eddie want to run away. “Be by the phone at four.”

Richie watched as Eddie turned away and walked out of the bathroom. “And what if I’m at the phone at four oh one, Eddie Spaghetti?” he called after him, a grin appearing on his face.

“Fuck off, ass hole. Four o’clock,” Eddie yelled back as he headed down the stairs of the house, a small smile forming on his face, too.


	2. Chapter 2

Mrs. Tozier was sitting downstairs when Eddie hit the bottom of the stairs. She had come home late the night before and went to make sure Richie was home, and when she peeked inside his room, she had seen the two boys cuddled together. She was a bit taken aback at first, since she had never seen Richie be that physically intimate with anyone before. After shutting the door closed and walking back to her room, however, she actually found herself smiling at the thought of Richie and Eddie lying asleep together. She knew Richie had always considered Eddie to be his best friend and had sometimes assumed maybe he considered him to be a bit more than just a best friend, and what she had seen proved her right. She wouldn’t mention it though, and would let Richie come to her in his own time, and when he did, she would be more than ready to listen and love him.

“I saw your bike outside and told your mother you spent the night, Eddie,” Mrs. Tozier called out as Eddie tried to sneak out the front door.

The teenage boy slowly turned back around, giving the older woman a small smile. “Uh, thank you, Mrs. Tozier. I’m, um, I’m sorry we didn’t ask if I could spend the night. I guess I fell asleep and Richie didn’t wake me up,” He shoved his hands in his pockets, desperately wanting to get out of this situation. He had spent the whole night cuddling her son, and on top of that, Richie was upstairs with bruises covering his face.

“No worries, Eddie, you’re welcome any time. Have a good day at school,” she told him before going back to the newspaper in her hands.

Eddie said a quick thank you and ran out the door, grateful Mrs. Tozier hadn’t seen more than just his bike.

It took awhile for Richie to walk out of the bathroom. He just stood there, staring at his broken face in the mirror. Bowers had hit him a few times before, leaving a couple cuts or bruises, but they were always small enough to hide or lie his way out of. How the hell was he supposed to walk downstairs and greet his mom with his face literally the color of a fucking blueberry?

When he did walk down the stairs and into the kitchen, his mom had moved from the couch and was facing away from him towards the stove. She was cooking bacon or something. He stood there for a moment, staring at her back. He knew she would turn around and freak out, and he had yet to come up with an explanation for the way he looked. He was afraid to tell her what really happened because that would mean telling her what happened after, and Richie didn’t know if he was ready for that. 

“Mom?” 

His mother turned around at the sound of her son calling and upon seeing him the spatula in her hand fell to the floor. “Oh my God, Richie,” she exclaimed as she rushed over to him. She reached her hands up as if to hold his face but let them linger right above his cheeks. Despite Richie already being a foot taller than her at 17, she was looking at him as if he were a baby in need. Her eyes filled to the brim with tears and there was a look of horror spread across her face. “Baby, what happened? Who did this?”

Richie opened his mouth to answer with some kind of lie but instead found himself crying and burying his face in his mom’s shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, cradling him the way she had when he was a baby. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” she tried to calm him, but he just continued sobbing into her shoulder. She hadn’t seen him cry like this in years and had no idea how to help him. Richie was always so sarcastic and playful, he never showed her a more vulnerable side of himself anymore. 

“I can’t tell you,” Richie whispered, barely audible enough for Mrs. Tozier to hear.

She pulled back a little so she could see his face. “What do you mean you can’t tell me? Richie, who did this?”

He hesitated and she could tell he was trying to come up with some story to spin and tell her. He stood like that for a moment, racking his brain for an answer, before giving up. “Henry Bowers,” he replied, his eyes instantly looking down at the floor. “It’s not the first time, but it’s my fault. I caused it.”

Mrs. Tozier shook her head. “How could you cause something like this, baby, what do you mean?”

Richie gulped and his eyes met his mom’s. Fear filled his whole body, more fear than he felt when Bowers had pushed him up against that wall. “He does it because I’m gay, mom. He picks on me and my friends because I’m gay.” 

Mrs. Tozier took in a breath before answering. “You being gay is no reason for anyone to hurt you, or your friends. That is no reason for anyone to do this to you,” she gently brushed her hand over the bruise on his jaw. “Let’s go to the hospital,” Mrs. Tozier walked to grab her keys, leaving a surprised Richie behind her.

“You’re not mad?” He asked.

“What?”

Richie slowly followed behind her. “You’re not mad I’m gay?”

His mom turned to look at him, a small smile on her face. “Richard Tozier, I would never,  _ ever _ be mad at you for loving who you love. I will be mad if you don’t get in the fucking car so I can take you to the hospital though,” and with that, Mrs. Tozier walked out the door with her keys in hand and Richie in tow.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I know this is a bit of a short chapter but the next one is gonna be longer! I didn't feel like the two scenes should be in the same chapter :) Also, thank you all so much for reading!!


	3. Chapter 3

Richie didn’t come to school for a few days, but Eddie made sure to call or stop by whenever he could. It was lonely at school without Richie there making stupid jokes during the classes they had together, and it felt weird walking through the hallways without him. They had been side by side, almost inseparable, since middle school. They were two peas in a pod, as Mrs. Tozier would always say, and Eddie really didn’t want it any other way. He was still chewing over what it meant for him and Richie to have slept together in the same bed, but he figured he was reading too much into it. Richie had been hurt and wanted comfort- it was nothing more than that, right?

The day Richie returned to school, Eddie wouldn’t leave his side. He didn’t want anyone joking about how his best friend looked, unless it was himself of course. He wouldn’t even really let their mutual friends near him until Richie had told him he “wasn’t a fucking baby, Kaspbrak.”

“At least your eyes aren’t fucking black and blue anymore,” Eddie told him as they walked into their English class together. “Blue is not your color.”

Richie rolled his eyes, “Your mom’s my color.”

“Fuck off,” Eddie slid into his desk and took out an apple and a notebook from his backpack.

Richie sat in the seat next to him, occasionally glancing over at the other boy. They hadn’t talked about the other night, besides the periodic joke about the cut on his lip or the bruised eyes he had. But they definitely had not talked about sleeping in the same bed together. And Richie most definitely had not told Eddie how much he wanted to do it again- sleep in the same bed, not get his ass kicked. 

“Do I have a fucking pimple or something?” Eddie asked, eyebrows raised at Richie.

“Uh, no, sorry,” Richie hadn’t realized he was still staring. He nervously gripped at his hair for a moment before unzipping his backpack and digging around for the spare sheet of paper he had taken notes on.

“Woo-ee, would ya look at that? The fucking fairy is back and might I say, is looking like someone beat the snot out of him,” Bowers had walked into the room with his possy of two drug addict ass holes behind him. 

Before Richie could respond with anything, an apple was hurling towards Bowers and hit him square in the face. The bully jumped back, grabbing at his nose. “What the fuck!?”

Richie’s eyes darted to his left and there was Eddie, standing up out of his chair with his eyes squinted in anger at Bowers. “Fucking fuck off, Bowers. I’m fucking sick of you walking around acting like you’re the fucking best because guess the fuck what, ass hole? You’re fucking not, you’re a fucking shit head and you’re gonna rot in fucking hell.”

Eddie stood there with his fists clenched, glaring at Bowers from across the room. Richie had never seen him stand up to anyone before, and he was quite shocked. Eddie was usually the one to pull them away from a fight, to beg them to just leave it alone and let it blow over, and yet, here he was, throwing apples and screaming at the boy who had bullied them for years.

Bowers didn’t even respond and instead just took his seat next to his followers, still rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

Richie was still staring at Eddie, mouth agape.  _ That was hot.  _

Eddie grabbed his notebook and shoved it in his backpack before grabbing Richie’s arm and pulling him out of the chair. “We’re fucking leaving,” he stated and barely gave Richie enough time to grab his backpack before tugging him out the classroom door.

Richie obligingly followed behind, still shocked Eddie had exploded like that. Once they were out of the classroom, Eddie still didn’t let go of his arm and Richie didn’t try to make him.

“I didn’t think you were one to skip school, Eddie-kins,” he finally said, trying to get back to his normal self.

“Yeah, well fuck this shit, man. We don’t need to be here,” Eddie didn’t look back at him and kept walking until they had gone out the front gates of the school. Richie couldn’t figure out where he was taking him, but he just followed along, not wanting to risk making the smaller boy in front of him let go of his wrist.

They ended up at a park near their neighborhood. They lived in a small city, everyone knew everyone and no one acknowledged the shitty things that happened around town because of it. That’s how Bowers was able to get away with picking on Richie and his friends- everyone knew his family and didn’t want to cause any tension in the city. Plus, his dad was the mayor, and no one wants to be the one to pick on the mayor’s son.

Eddie plopped himself down on the grass, letting go of Richie’s hand. He began picking at the grass angrily. They were at a park they had played at in elementary school. There was a small playground with one of those covered twisty slides, some monkey bars, and a couple of swings. The large grassy area was what made it a nice park. It was big enough to hold an entire soccer field, and no matter what the season, the grass was always a bright green and carefully trimmed to perfection. It was the perfect place for a picnic, but all Richie had was half a sandwich and some chips. 

He sat down next to Eddie, offering him the bag of chips. Eddie took it silently and opened it loudly, crunching down on the Doritos. He still hadn’t said anything since they left.

Richie was nervous. He couldn’t figure out why- he had sat with Eddie plenty of times, had spent countless afternoons with him, had told him everything about himself. Well, almost everything.

“Hey, Eds?”

Eddie turned his head so he was looking at Richie. His eyes were so blue.

“Why’d you do that?” Richie asked quietly, keeping his eyes locked on Eddie’s.

It took him a moment to answer. “Because I’m tired of watching him pick on you,” he said softly. “And I, um, I thought he was gonna, you know, I thought he was gonna kill you the other day, and I just, um, I don’t know. I don’t really want him near you anymore,” he looked away from Richie and went back to picking at the grass.

Richie felt himself smile. “You feeling protective over me, Eds?”

He heard Eddie chuckle, and then he was looking back up at him again. “You’re the one who asked me to sleep in bed with you, remember?” Eddie instantly regretted saying it; it had just slipped out, but he didn’t know if Richie was ready to talk about it yet. His heart raced a bit as he watched Richie’s eyes widen. Fuck, did he just fuck up?

Richie couldn’t come up with a response. Only Eddie fucking Kaspbrak could render him speechless. “You didn’t have to stay,” he ended up getting out. He had been afraid Eddie wouldn’t want to stay or would find it weird that he had even asked, but he didn’t want to let himself think that. He wanted Eddie to want to stay just as much as he wanted him to.

“I wanted to,” it was like he could read his mind. Eddie hadn’t taken his eyes off of Richie. He was still so beautiful, even with the bruises still lingering under his eyes.

Richie was still at a loss for words. Did Eddie just say what he thought he did? Was he dreaming? Did Eddie, his best friend for years, just admit that he had wanted to stay with him? He just stared at him, eyes wide in surprise, and he felt like he needed to tell him. He had told his mom, so why couldn’t he tell him too? 

“I’m gay, Eddie,” the words spilled out of Richie’s mouth before he could stop them. “All the jokes Bowers makes and every time he picks on us, it’s because of me. Cause I’m gay. And it’s okay if that grosses you out or, like, changes things and you don’t have to be my friend or whatever, I don’t want anything to be weird. But I just needed to tell you cause, you know, I did ask you to stay with me, and I’m not saying it’s cause I think you’re gay or whatever, but I just feel like maybe you should know, cause, you know, you did sleep in a bed with me and it wouldn’t be fair if I-”

“Shut up, Rich,” Eddie said, effectively cutting him off. “I told you, I  _ wanted  _ to stay. You don’t gross me out. You’re one of the only people that doesn’t gross me out, okay?”

Richie bit his lip, nearly drawing blood. If he kept talking, he was scared he would say something he regretted. “Okay,” he replied.

“Okay,” Eddie sighed. He went back to eating the chips Richie had gave him, unfolding his legs and letting one brush against Richie’s. He let their legs stay connected. He wasn’t ready to say the words aloud yet, but he wanted to be touching Richie, especially after the boy had blabbered on and on about how he was worried Eddie would leave him. 

Richie didn’t reply and instead started eating his sandwich quietly next to Eddie. He moved his leg closer when he felt Eddie’s against him, and he started to think maybe he hadn’t read too much into it. 


	4. Chapter 4

“So, what’s up with you and Eddie, Tozier?” Bev and Richie were sitting on the balcony of Beverly’s apartment, passing a bong between the two of them. Bev had moved into her own apartment the year before, after her father got arrested for abuse. She had somehow convinced the judge to file her as an independent instead of sending her to some random foster family, and she eventually got a job and saved enough money to pay for her own place. Her friends pitched in whenever they could- buying her groceries, offering gas money, buying cleaning supplies, things like that. The best part of the apartment, though, was Richie could come over and smoke whenever he wanted, and he wouldn’t have to worry about his mom smelling the weed from his room.

“Nothing’s up with me and Eddie,” Richie replied, taking a rip from the bong before passing it over to Bev.

She set it down on the ground in front of her instead of taking another hit, signaling she wanted to have a serious conversation. “Don’t fuck with me, Rich, I’m not blind.”

Richie blew the smoke out of his mouth, watching it dissipate in the air in front of him. She was right, there was something up with him and Eddie, but he didn’t even know what it was yet. “Fuck if I know, Bev.” Besides Eddie, Beverly was his closest friend. She was the only one who would smoke with him, and she could always put up with his jokes, no matter how grimey they got. 

“You like him?”

Richie’s eyebrow raised questioningly. “Does it seem like I like him?” He asked back.

Bev laughed. “Are you kidding me? It’s seemed like you liked him since we were twelve. You’re all over him.”

“Fuck,” Richie grabbed the bong again, taking another hit. “Is it that obvious?” He shut his eyes. He had always thought he was good at hiding his feelings for the other boy, but he was dumb if he thought he could hide it from Bev. 

“Oh, come on, Richie,” Bev bumped his shoulder with her’s. “He’s all over you, too. Has been for years.”

Richie opened his eyes back up and turned to look at her. If he wasn’t so head over heels in love with Eddie, he would probably be in love with Bev. She was gorgeous. Her hair was bright red and was chopped in a pixie cut, falling right above her ears in waves and her eyes were a bright green as she looked at him. Freckles littered her face, kind of like Eddie’s, but her’s weren’t as pronounced. And she always knew what to say to get him to talk. It was like she could read his mind or some shit. “He’s not all over me, Bev. It’s like a one way road over here, just good ol’ Richie falling in love with a boy who considers him a friend.”

“Then why did he throw an apple at Bowers the other day?”

“Any one of you would’ve thrown a fucking apple at Bowers,” he was referencing their group of friends. They had known each other since middle school, and they really would’ve done anything for each other- including kicking a bully’s ass.

Bev let out a hmph. She knew he was right, but she was trying to make a point. She took the bong out of Richie’s hands and set it next to her where he couldn’t reach it, ignoring his look of irritation. His eyes were already a bright red, and she could tell he was trying to get high enough to stop thinking about whatever was going on between him and Eddie. “Look, Rich, all I’m saying is- Eddie has never once stood up to Bowers. He’s the first one to run out the fucking room whenever Bowers name is even mentioned. He’s been there when Bill’s been picked on, when Stan’s been picked on, when I’ve been picked on, and not once has he said anything. But when Bowers said something to you, Eddie said something. And he ditched school for you. When has Eddie Kaspbrak ever fucking ditched school? I don’t know what happened between you two or what is happening, but lately, he’s been all over you and you haven’t once complained about it. So don’t sit here with your big ass glasses all fogged up from the smoke telling me Eddie considers you just a friend, alright?”

Richie just stared at her. Why the fuck was she so concerned about this? He took his glasses off and cleaned them on his shirt at her comment, chewing at the inside of his cheek. He knew she just cared about him and wanted him to be happy, but he didn’t appreciate her assertiveness on the topic. Plus, he was annoyed she took the bong away from him. “Look, Bev, all I’m saying is-” he was mocking her at first, but his tone softened as he thought, “All I’m saying is I don’t know what’s happening, and I’m scared, alright?” He closed his eyes again and shook his head. “If I fuck this up, I lose Eddie,” he looked over at her and she watched as tears sparked up in his eyes. “If I tell him I love him and he doesn’t love me back, Bev, I lose my best friend. I can’t fucking risk it.”

Beverly was quiet for a moment before resting her head on Richie’s shoulder. She felt bad about pressuring him, especially after seeing him start to cry. No one had ever seen Richie cry. “You won’t lose him,” she whispered, grabbing the bong and passing it back over to him. “I just think maybe give it a shot, you know?”

Richie scoffed, “I’d rather take a hundred shots than tell Eddie I’m in love with him.”

“I could do it for you,” Bev joked. “I could walk up and just be like ‘Hey, Eds,’” she mimicked pushing up glasses on her nose the way Richie did, “‘it’s me, Trashmouth Tozier, here to tell you your mom isn’t the only one I love.’”

“What the fuck kind of impersonation is that?” Richie laughed at her as she spoke, bumping his shoulder against hers as he shook with laughter. “That’s so not what I would fucking say.”

Beverly laughed with him. “It so is what you would fucking say.”

Richie didn’t reply and went back to smoking once their laughter subsided. It totally is what he would fucking say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick little interaction between Bev and Richie <3


	5. Chapter 5

Eddie’s mom didn’t like that her son had been spending so much time with Richie. She had never liked him- she had always found him to be too loud, too repulsive, and an extremely bad influence on her son. When they were younger and Eddie went to hang out with Richie, he would always come home with cuts or bruises or something after the two boys had played some kind of sport at the park. She never wanted her son playing sports, just in case he got injured. It got a little better when all the kids started hanging out because then at least there were some other kids Eddie could be around, instead of just Richie and his bad habits, like not washing his hands after using the restroom until he was twelve or not finishing all the food on his plate or snoring when he slept. As they grew older, though, Ms. Kaspbrak began to notice Eddie and Richie spending a lot more time together alone, and she did not like it one bit. When Richie was younger, his hair was always long, but as he got older, he stopped cutting it and let his curls go down towards his shoulders, which was absolutely vile to Ms. Kaspbrak. She believed boys hair should be trimmed and proper, like Eddie’s was. Richie started wearing a lot of black clothes, lots of band t-shirts, and every now and then his nails would even be painted black. Ms. Kaspbrak did not want her son anywhere near nail polish- that was for girls and Eddie would not be wearing it. And the fact that he always wore black, it made him look vampiric. So, when Eddie came bounding down the stairs on a Friday afternoon with a duffel bag slung over his body, Ms. Kaspbrak had to speak up.

“Are you going to Richie’s?” She asked Eddie, sitting still in her arm chair.

Eddie stopped at the bottom of the stairs, letting out a long sigh. He knew his mom didn’t like Richie, and he was certain she didn’t like how much time he had been spending with him. But he liked being around Richie. He had always liked being around Richie- he made him laugh and he always felt like he could be himself around him, unlike at home. At home, Eddie felt like he had to be the perfect, clean son for his mother, and as he got older, he was starting to resent her more and more for it. And it didn’t help that she was constantly talking crap on his best friend.

“I said, are you going to Richie’s?” Mrs. Kaspbrak asked again.

“We’re all going to Bill’s,” he replied. That was a lie. They were actually going to Beverly’s, but his mother would never let him leave the house if she knew he would be in a place with no adults around, even though he was almost seventeen. He just chose Bill because he knew his mom liked him the most out of all of his friends.

Mrs. Kaspbrak went back to her sewing, nodding a bit. “Well, don’t come home too late tomorrow. Tell Bill I said hello.”

Eddie nodded and started to leave before being cut off again by his mother. “Um, where is my kiss?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Mom, I’m literally sixteen,” he replied, but obediently went and kissed her cheek.

“Sixteen or sixty, I always expect a kiss,” she answered. “And, Eddie, if I find out you went to Richie’s again without my permission, you won’t be leaving this house for a while.”

Eddie didn’t reply and instead angrily walked out the door. She always threatened to put him on house arrest, but ever since Eddie had started spending all his afternoons with Richie, it seemed to be brought up much more than usual. He wouldn’t let her take his time with Richie away from him, and if that meant lying about who’s house he was going to or who he was spending time with, then so be it.

The bike ride to Beverly’s was a quick one and Eddie was there about fifteen minutes after he walked out of his house. He rode up to the complex and hopped off his bike, throwing it out front in the grass. He could’ve asked one of his friends for a ride there, considering most of them had saved up and bought some kind of car, but he needed to clear his head. Riding his bike gave him the chance to think about the things happening in his life, and lately, all he had been doing was thinking. And the only thing he thought about was Richie. 

The boy was like a song on repeat in Eddie’s mind. It didn’t matter where he was, what he was doing, or who he was with, all Eddie could think about was Richie. Walking home from school with Richie, going to the arcade with Richie, talking on the phone with Richie, playing video games with Richie, falling asleep in the same bed as Richie with him cuddled up against him in the most comfortable of ways and-

“Fuck,” Eddie whispered aloud, stopping his thoughts as he walked up the stairs to Beverly’s room. 

No matter how hard he tried to ignore his feelings, they always just popped back up. He shouldn’t have enjoyed lying with Richie so much, but it had just made him feel so happy. His mom had always told him boys shouldn’t love other boys, and for a long time, Eddie had tried to ignore how he felt when he saw a boy he found to be attractive. He had tried to push the feeling down until it was hidden far away, and he had succeeded for a long time- until Richie had asked him to stay. As soon as Richie had reached out and grabbed his hand, all of the work Eddie had done to suppress his feelings was for nothing. It all came rushing back and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He had been trying to act cool, to act collected, but he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up the act. He wanted to tell Richie- to tell him he was all he thought about, to tell him how much he wanted to touch him, how much he wanted to kiss him and call him his, but he was scared. He wasn’t really scared of how Richie would react, Eddie had a small feeling Richie felt the same way. He was more scared of how everyone else would react. Richie had already told him the reason Bowers was always after them was because he was gay, and Eddie didn’t want to make it worse than it already was. But he didn’t want to pretend anymore. He didn’t want to pretend Richie was just his best friend because he wasn’t. He was so much more. Richie was his whole world; he was the person who made him calm when he was scared, the person who made him laugh when he was sad, and the person he wanted to fall asleep with at the end of every night. But, no matter how much he wanted to stop pretending, the part of him that had listened to his mom for so long about how bad it was to love another boy, the part that was scared the world would reject him, held him back, and he didn’t know how to get past it.

His thoughts stopped when he reached Beverly’s apartment door and he knocked twice before just opening it up and walking in, knowing Bev kept it open for them. He was greeted by Bill, Bev, and Mike, who were all sitting on the couch playing on the playstation Bev had recently bought. He was a bit disappointed Richie wasn’t there yet, but he sat down on the arm of the couch next to Mike.

“Eddie, my main man,” Mike said to him, raising his hand for a high five, but Eddie just stared at him. He didn’t do high fives. Mike slowly put his hand down, “Alrighty then, I’ll just, uh, go back to Frogger I guess.”

“Sorry, bud,” Eddie chuckled, watching as they played.

“D-did you bring a-any a-alcohol?” Bill asked, raising his eyebrows over at Eddie.

They spent a lot of their Friday’s like this. They would go to someone’s house, play video games, talk about who knows what, and pass around a bottle of whatever someone could get their hands on. It was much more appealing than going to any kind of party.

“You think my mother keeps any fucking alcohol in our house?” Eddie replied with a laugh. “Richie said he’d bring something.”

“God, I hope it’s wine,” Bev leaned back on the couch. 

The boys laughed, earning themselves a confused look from Bev. “Y-you really th-think Richie w-would bring wine?” Bill asked through his laughter.

Bev crossed her arms and glared at them. “You just watch. Trashmouth doesn’t only drink hard liquor.”

Eddie smiled at the nickname they had given Richie. He had earned it when they were kids because he never knew when to shut the fuck up, and that still stood true. Eddie got lost in his thoughts again, removing himself from the conversation the others were having and instead just enjoyed the company of his friends as they waited for the rest of them to arrive.

Richie, Ben, and Stan showed up about an hour later, each of them holding a different substance in hand. Ben had a twelve pack of beer, Stan was holding wine coolers and a bottle of vodka, and Richie rounded them off with a bottle of wine and a bong in hand. Bev clapped her hands together when they walked up, hopping off of the couch and heading straight for the wine.

“I fucking told you guys!” She exclaimed, grabbing the bottle out of Richie’s hands and running for the kitchen. 

Richie stood there dumbfounded, staring after the red head as the rest of the group laughed.

“B-bev said she h-hoped you would b-bring w-wine, and none of u-us believed her,” Bill told him, “Guess w-we were p-proved wrong.”

“What can I say?” Richie asked, “I am a man of many tastes, right Eds?” he walked behind Eddie towards the kitchen and ruffled his hair, going to set down the bong by the rest of the alcohol they had accumulated.

“Don’t call me Eds,” Eddie replied, immediately moving to fix his hair.

Bev gave Richie a knowing look that no one else seemed to notice, but Richie ignored her and instead turned to the rest of his friends, “I say we order a pizza and play some good ol’ truth or dare! Doesn’t that sound like a splendid idea, my good fellows?”

Stan scoffed, “Sounds like you’re gonna dare me to lick the fucking toilet again.”

“No way you made him do that,” Eddie gagged, turning his head to stare at Richie in disgust. 

“Oh, I did,” Richie laughed and once again walked over to Eddie, who was still propped up on the arm of the couch. Richie stood behind him and slung his arms over his neck, “but don’t you worry, Eddie Spaghetti, I would never, ever dare you to do something so vile,” Richie rested his chin on Eddie’s shoulder, his cheek inches away from Eddie’s. Eddie’s breath caught in his throat at the feeling of the other boy being so close, but he kept quiet, letting Richie lean on him.

“Oh, so you’ll let Richie touch you, huh?” Mike suddenly exclaimed, turning to look at the two boys. “But I can’t give you a fucking high five?”

Eddie forced himself to laugh, despite the hammering that was happening in his chest. Richie and Eddie were always pretty touchy, and Mike was right, Eddie wasn’t like that with anyone else. But it wasn’t until recently that Eddie understood why. 

“Don’t be so upset, Mikey,” Richie answered for Eddie, “I’m just too irresistible,” but Richie let go of Eddie and walked back to the kitchen to order the pizza.

Mike stared at Eddie with raised eyebrows, hinting he wanted him to answer his questions. Eddie just shrugged in response, “I’ve known him longer?” he tried, earning himself an eye roll from Mike.

“Bull shit,” he said, but he ended the conversation there, going back to the video game he had started. 

Eddie shifted so he was facing the kitchen looking at Bev and Richie as they poured glasses of wine for themselves. He kind of wished Richie would come back and hug him again, but he didn’t want any of his friends to suspect something was up between them yet. He still wasn’t ready to say his feelings out loud.

Richie caught Eddie’s stare and smiled at him- a smile that made Eddie’s heart flutter a bit. He was in way too deep with that boy.


	6. Chapter 6

They ordered three extra large pizzas, despite Eddie’s insistence that was way too much food and they would all be sick if they only ate pizza and drank shitty beer. The pizza showed up around eight, and once they had tipped the delivery guy and all piled food on their plates plates, they sat down in a circle on the floor of Beverly’s room. Richie had plopped himself down next to Eddie, much to Eddie’s delight. That is, until Richie started eating. He had a problem with chewing with his mouth open- he was always trying to talk through the food in his mouth and it drove Eddie absolutely crazy.

“For once, could you just chew without trying to tell a stupid story?” Eddie exclaimed, turning to look at Richie.

Richie just stared back and slowly started chewing with his mouth open, earning a laugh from the rest of the group. “You’re disgusting,” was all Eddie said before going back to his own slice of pizza.

“Are we playing truth or dare or not?” Bev asked, “Because I already have a list of dares lined up ready to go, so who’s asking first?”

Ben raised his hand, “I’ll go. Stan, truth or dare?”

Stan groaned- he absolutely hated truth or dare, so he was always the first one picked. “The last time we played this game, I got a cold, so I’m gonna go with truth.” He shot a glare at Richie, who had previously dared him to lick a toilet seat.

“Alright,” Ben thought for a moment. “Would you rather kiss Bill or Mike?”

“Jesus, what kind of question is that?” 

“You have to answer it, Sir Stan, you’re the one who chose truth,” Richie butted in, pointing at Stan with his pizza.

“Okay fine,” Stan took a deep breath and huffed it out loudly, “I would rather kiss Bill.”

“I’m h-honored,” Bill laughed.

Stan just rolled his eyes in response. “Trashmouth, truth or dare?”

“Dare, Stanley, it is  _ always _ dare,” Richie replied before taking a drink of his beer. 

“Okay then, I dare you to tell us all your deepest, darkest, most hidden secret,” Stan rose his bottle of beer at Richie as if he was saying cheers before taking a large swig.

Richie just stared at him. “That’s fucked up, Stanley. I said dare, not truth, and I am filing a motion that what you are asking is a truth.” Normally, Richie would just come up with some kind of your mom joke and use that as his secret, but he was two beers and a glass of wine in and he was especially offended. He had already told three people his deepest, darkest, most hidden secret, and he wasn’t really in the mood to tell anyone else. He was too afraid of rejection. With Bev and Eddie, it was different. He felt like he had to tell Eddie and he knew Bev wouldn’t kick him to the curb. But he didn’t know what the rest of his friends would say, so he was using talking as his way out, per usual.

“Hey, it’s not a question, genius. If it’s not phrased as a question, then it isn’t a truth. It’s a fucking dare and you have to do it, that’s the rules,” Stan replied, now pointing his pizza at Richie the way the other boy had done to him earlier.

“Nope, you all don’t need to hear any of my secrets, I’m an open book,” Richie retaliated, clenching his hands into fists.

Eddie sat next to him quietly, staring at him in concern. Was he going to say he was gay? If Richie said it, would he also feel like he needed to say it? No. No, he couldn’t even say it to himself yet, he wouldn’t say it out loud. Plus, maybe Richie had some other deep, dark secret he hadn’t even told Eddie about. 

Eddie wanted to reach out and grab his hand, to unclench it and hold it in his, but he didn’t move. He instead let Stan and Richie yell back and forth, while everyone else drank and watched.

“You have to tell us a secret, Richie!” Stan stood up, arms crossed. “You’re the one who wanted to play truth or dare.”

Richie stood up too, standing just a few inches above Stan. “I take it back, I don’t want to play anymore.”

“Uh, g-guys, it’s o-okay, we don’t h-have to-” Bill started talking, trying to calm his two friends down, but Stanley cut him off.

“No, Bill, Richie wanted to play truth or dare, so Richie is going to follow through with the dare.”

Richie threw his hands up in annoyance. “Fine! Fine, Stan, you want to know my secret?” He asked loudly, his voice nearly raised to a yell. “I’m gay! Does that make you feel better?”

Stan’s face went from anger to shock to regret in a matter of three seconds, but he didn’t say anything to Richie. Everyone was silent, staring up at Richie as he yelled at Stan.

“Sorry I made you lick a fucking toilet seat once, but do you really gotta fucking push people to share shit with you?” Richie knew he shouldn’t be yelling at Stan; he knew Stan hadn’t meant to cause him any pain, but he didn’t know how else to handle his emotions. “My deepest, darkest, most hidden secret is that I, Richard Trashmouth Tozier, am gay, and now that you all know and it’s out there in the open, we can just carry on with truth or dare, right? That’s how it works, right?”

“Richie, I’m sorry-” Stan started, but Richie cut him off.

“It’s fine,” Richie took in a deep breath, looking around at his friends. The looks on their faces made him bite the inside of his cheek in shame. They were all staring at him with some kind of fear- Ben and Bill looked shocked, Mike looked worried, Bev looked at him sadly, and Eddie just had a blank expression on his face, not showing any emotion. “It’s fine,” Richie said again, sitting back down next to Eddie quietly. 

Eddie slowly moved his hand so that it was touching Richie’s, sliding his hand under Richie’s larger one until their palms were touching. Eddie tightened his fingers around the other boy’s hand, giving him a small squeeze. He didn’t know what to say, but he could feel how nervous Richie was. Richie slowly closed his hand around Eddie’s, glancing over at him. No one said anything about their hands, and it was quiet for a moment. Stan finally sat back down and stared at his own hands.

“Um,” Richie started to talk, licking his lips before continuing, “I’m sorry for yelling.”

Stan looked up at him. “I’m sorry for pushing.”

Richie gave him a small nod, signaling to Stan that he accepted his apology without having to say anything aloud. “I, uh, I get it if any of you don’t want to be my friend, or whatever.”

Eddie squeezed his hand tighter.

“We always want to be your friend,” Bev spoke for the whole group. “We love you no matter what, Rich.”

The rest of the group nodded along, saying “I love you’s” and “We support you’s.” Richie felt tears form in his eyes and he aggressively tried wiping them away with the hand that wasn’t gripping onto Eddie. Bev walked over to Richie and hugged him, followed by Bill, then Ben, then Mike, and Stan. Eddie let go of Richie’s hand so he could join the group hug, and they all held on to each other, surrounding Richie with love and friendship. 

“Alright, alright,” Richie said as everyone let go and went back to sitting on the floor. “Enough of this sappy shit,” he wiped away a stray tear that was lingering on his cheek. “How about we just drink and watch a movie, yeah? No more truth or dare?”

Stan was the first to respond, “No more truth or dare.”


	7. Chapter 7

They all found their way to the living room and took a seat in front of the TV. Bev, Bill, and Mike were all squished together on the couch, Stan was in an armchair, Ben squished himself next to Stan, and Eddie and Richie ended up leaning against the ottoman in the middle of the room. They watched a couple of movies, but by the time they had put  _ Poltergeist  _ in, half of them were asleep. Bev had made her way into her room and fell asleep in her bed, Bill was leaning on one end of the couch with drool hanging off his chin, Mike was snoring on the other side, and Ben had somehow fallen asleep on top of Stan.

“Am I supposed to fucking sleep like this?” Stan whispered to Richie and Eddie, who were still awake and very attentively watching the movie.

Richie shrugged, “Doesn’t it feel nice to have a warm body on top of you, Stanley?”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Not when I can’t breathe.”

“Nudge him gently and maybe he’ll move?” Eddie suggested.

Stan tapped Ben’s shoulder and didn’t get a reaction, so he flicked Ben’s head.

“What the fuck?” Ben whispered sleepily, slowly opening his eyes to glare at Stan.

“Get off me, bud,” Stan was already pushing him off.

Ben muttered an apology and scooted off the chair, landing on the floor. Richie tossed him a blanket and before he could even pull it up to his shoulders, Ben was back asleep, his face pressed against the carpet. 

“Much better,” Stan said, curling himself into a ball on the armchair and dozing off. 

Richie and Eddie laughed quietly before turning back to pay attention to the movie. They weren’t even halfway through when Eddie started yawning continuously, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Go to sleep, Eds,” Richie whispered, nudging the other boy.

Eddie glanced around the room. All the chairs and the whole couch was taken. “There’s no spots left.”

Richie glanced around quickly, nodding. “Hm, yes it does seem to be so,” he said simply. Richie slid himself forward so he was no longer leaning on the ottoman and laid down with his back on the floor. He tapped his chest, “Now there’s a spot,” he spoke quietly, but his eyes were stuck on Eddie.

Normally, Eddie would make some kind of objection or say something about how he has no idea when the last time Richie washed that shirt was, but he was too tired to think about any of that. And there was no need to really worry about what their friends might say- they were all already asleep. 

Eddie didn’t hesitate to lay down, resting his head on Richie’s chest and throwing his arm around his waist. Richie put his arms around Eddie, pulling him close and letting out a soft sigh. Part of him had worried Eddie would laugh at him and grab a pillow instead, but once he was lying down, Richie held on tight and let himself enjoy the feeling of Eddie falling asleep in his arms.

He tried to fall asleep too, but Richie was still wide awake when the credits of  _ Poltergeist  _ started rolling. He had tried counting down from one hundred, doing some of the breathing exercises his mom always went on about, and even tried just imagining he was already fast asleep, but no matter what he did, his brain would not let him slip away.

He gently lifted Eddie’s arm off his chest and moved his head, placing him lightly on the ground. There was an extra blanket, so Richie threw it over Eddie before pulling himself up and heading to the balcony. He knew Bev kept her cigarettes out there, and he really needed one right now. He felt like he was slipping back into the hole he found himself in when he was alone. It almost never happened when he was around his friends; they made him feel human, they made him feel like he mattered, even when he felt like he didn’t. He was always trying to act like he had it together, like he was confident and funny, but he wasn’t. Really, he was just sad. He was just joking his way through life because sometimes the only thing that made him happy was seeing other people happy. Especially seeing Eddie happy. He loved seeing Eddie happy.

The cigarettes were sitting on the small table Bev had lugged outside when she moved in. Richie opened the box and pulled one out, lighting it with the lighter he kept hidden in his pocket, right next to one of Eddie’s spare inhalers- just in case he ever needed it while they were together. 

He set the cigarette to his lips, breathing in and shutting his eyes as the smoke filled his lungs. The fact that every important person in his life knew he was gay took a huge burden off of Richie’s shoulders. His mom knew, his friends knew, Eddie knew, and before long, everyone in Derry would probably know. He took another drag of the cigarette, holding the smoke in his lungs longer this time. He needed to learn how to be truly confident. He thought that maybe if he acted confident enough, one day he would actually feel like it, but he had yet to get there. But maybe know that everyone knew what he had been holding inside, it would be easier. The smoke moved slowly out of his mouth and Richie watched it dissipate into the air. The fumes from the cigarette were making his head feel a bit clearer, and his thoughts instead turned to Eddie, as they often did.

Being around Eddie made Richie feel confident. It always had. Eddie made him feel genuine happiness, a rare occurrence for Richard Tozier. But lately, he was starting to grow a bit worried. He loved being with Eddie, he loved holding Eddie’s hand, he loved falling asleep with Eddie, but he was scared for him. Bowers had kicked Richie’s ass just a few weeks ago, so what was keeping him from hurting Eddie too? Richie didn’t want to be the reason anything bad happened to the other boy- he wanted to be the reason Eddie smiled, the reason he felt happy, the way Eddie was for him.

Richie shut his eyes again, pushing the negative thoughts away and focusing on how the cigarette was making him feel. It was hot against his lips every time he pressed it to them, but the smoke was warm. He had come to love the smell and the taste, and it had become a source of comfort for him. It was a bad habit, he knew it was, but he couldn’t help it. It helped him relax when he didn’t know what else to do.

“Do you know how much shit is in that thing?”

Eddie’s voice made Richie jump, nearly dropping the cigarette. “Jesus Christ, Eddie, I thought you were asleep.”

“My pillow moved,” Eddie shrugged and stepped onto the balcony and came to stand next to Richie. 

Richie sighed. “Sorry,” he started smoking again, blowing more smoke out before continuing, “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh, so you chose to come and kill yourself with a cigarette instead?” Eddie asked, grabbing what was left of the cigarette out of Richie’s hand and stomping it out on the ground. “Fucking gross.”

“You owe Bev a cigarette,” Richie was frowning.

“No, you owe Bev a fucking cigarette, you’re the one who smoked it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who fucking smashed it on the floor.”   
“Shut up, Richie,” Eddie didn’t have any other comeback, and he didn’t come outside to banter. He came outside to make sure Richie was okay, but if he was smoking, then he probably wasn’t.

They were quiet for a while, both of them staring up at the stars. “You can see the big dipper,” Eddie said quietly.

“What?” Richie hadn’t been paying attention; he was too busy contemplating getting another cigarette.

“The big dipper,” Eddie repeated, this time pointing to a series of stars in the sky, “you can see it.”

Richie tried to see what Eddie was pointing at, but he just saw a bunch of bright lights hanging by the moon. “Cool,” he replied, not entirely interested in stars.

“Did you know the big dipper isn’t actually a constellation?” Eddie asked, turning to face Richie. “It’s actually an asterism. It’s made up of, like, seven different stars, and it’s part of…”

Eddie kept going, spewing out facts about the Big Dipper, but Richie wasn’t really listening anymore. He was more focused on the way Eddie’s lips moved when he talked and how wide his eyes got when he was talking about something he liked. It was dark out, but Richie could make out his features clearly. Eddie’s eyelashes were casting a small shadow below his eyes and Richie could make out one of his dimples as he spoke. Richie was entranced.

He couldn’t help himself- Eddie was mid sentence, but Richie didn’t care. He cupped Eddie’s face in his hands and kissed him. He left his lips on Eddie’s for just a moment before pulling away to look at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, were my cool facts about the Big Dipper boring you?” Eddie joked, smiling up at Richie. His hand had ended up clutching Richie’s waist and he didn’t move it when the other boy pulled away.

Richie laughed, “You’re the only star I need.” He winked at him overdramatically, spitting out one of his many corny pick up lines.

“I just fucking told you, the Big Dipper isn’t a star- it’s a fucking asterism,” Eddie was rolling his eyes at him, but he hadn’t stepped away. He didn’t want to step away.

“Whatever,” Richie kissed him again, this time curling one of his hands in Eddie’s hair.

Eddie smiled against Richie’s lips, taking him in. He had imagined this moment so many times before, though he would never admit it to anyone. He forgot about how cold it was and how tired he was and all he focused on was how soft Richie’s lips felt against his, much softer than he would expect from someone constantly cursing and making jokes. Even the stubble on his upper lip didn’t bother Eddie, all he cared about was how good he felt. It made him feel safe and warm and happy, and it was better than any of the times he had imagined it. He tilted his head a bit, bumping their noses together, and he felt Richie laugh against his lips.

“Cute, cute, cute,” Richie whispered, pulling back and kissing Eddie’s nose.

“Don’t call me cute,” Eddie murmured, but he couldn’t hide the blush that was forming on his cheeks.

Richie ignored him, “I like you, Eddie Spaghetti,” he started slowly, his eyes cast downward as the nerves rose up in his stomach. It was much harder to say it than to think it. “I’ve always liked you,” his thumb was tracing along Eddie’s jaw. “I guess I’m just sharing secrets today, so might as well share this one too, right?”

“Don’t call me Eddie Spaghetti while you’re telling me you like me, Rich,” Eddie teased as his hand played with the end of Richie’s shirt. He didn’t know what to say- he had only just recently admitted to himself he liked Richie, he didn’t know how to actually say it aloud.

“Right, okay, I’m sorry,” Richie laughed again. “Edward Kaspbrak, I do believe I have a very,  _ very _ big crush on you, and I have for quite a while.”

“Edward’s not much better, only my mom calls me Edward.”

Richie groaned and leaned his forehead on Eddie’s, “Come on, Eddie, don’t leave me hanging here.” He was chewing on his lip in fear that Eddie wasn’t going to feel the same way, which would mean he just made a fool out of himself. 

Eddie took a deep breath, raising his eyes to meet Richie’s. “I had a crush on you before I even knew what a crush was, Rich,” he finally got out. “I’ve just been too scared to say anything to you or anyone. I mean, I haven’t even said that I’m- that you know, I’m-” he wasn’t ready to say the word aloud yet. He wasn’t even sure if gay was the right word to describe him. He just knew he felt good when Richie was around, and that was all he needed for now.

“It’s okay,” Richie was speaking softer than he usually did, sensing Eddie’s hesitation. “You don’t have to label yourself anything, Eds.” A sense of relief washed over him when Eddie reciprocated how he felt, and he was much more relaxed. “We don’t have to do or be anything you don’t want.”

This time Eddie kissed Richie. “I want this,” he whispered, “but I don’t know what to call myself yet.”

Richie hummed, “I’ll just call you my Eddie, how’s that?”

Eddie couldn’t help but blush, “Yeah, I like that,” he looked up at Richie again, not able to stop the smile from spreading across his face. “Just as long as you don’t fucking interrupt me while I’m telling you about the Big Dipper alright?”

Richie chuckled. “Okay, Eds, I promise to never interrupt you while you’re babbling on about the Big Dipper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading wow!!! I want to write more after this but I am a bit swamped with school work, so I will try to update at least once a week :) I feel like I have a few more chapters up my sleeve!


	8. Chapter 8

They stayed outside for another thirty minutes or so, staring at each other and kissing until Eddie proclaimed he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. They were the last ones to wake up, just as they were the last ones to go to sleep, and when they did wake up, Beverly was sitting criss cross in one of the chairs, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. The rest of the boys were attempting to make breakfast, causing quite a commotion. 

Eddie and Richie were curled up together on the floor under one of the blankets- Eddie’s back was pressed up against Richie’s chest and Richie’s arms were wrapped tightly around Eddie’s waist, their hands meeting in a folded position. Eddie woke up first, and before he realized Bev was staring at them, he felt completely at peace. Once he rolled over to face Richie, though, his eyes met Bev’s and she simply winked at him.

“You may wanna wake him up, I’m sure they’re gonna have pancakes ready soon,” she uncrossed her legs and got up from the chair, the whole time smiling at Eddie as she walked over to the kitchen.

Eddie’s face burned red and he buried it in Richie’s chest. Did everyone seen them? Were they going to say anything? The panicked thoughts rushed through his head. He knew it was okay and they would accept him, just as they had accepted Richie the night before, but there was still something making him scared. But despite the fear his thoughts were creating, Eddie found himself smiling against Richie’s shirt. Richie had kissed him. Richie had told him he liked him. And then Richie had kissed him again and again and again. Eddie had never seen the other boy being so gentle and caring; he was always going a hundred miles an hour, talking about who knows what and making stupid jokes, but last night, he had been holding Eddie so softly and not saying much at all, except for a few compliments from time to time. It had been pure bliss, and Eddie wanted to experience it every night, and he wanted to feel that serenity he felt when he first woke up every time he opened his eyes.

Eddie poked at Richie’s chest, “Wake up, Trashmouth.”

Richie groaned, already slightly awake due to the clamoring in the kitchen. “Five more minutes,” he kept his eyes closed, but his grip on Eddie tightened, pulling him even closer than he already was.

“No, come on,” Eddie tried to wiggle out of Richie’s arms, but Richie didn’t loosen his grip at all.

“No, you come on,” Richie opened his eyes and looked at Eddie, the hint of a smile forming on his lips. This time when he woke up, he didn’t feel like he was going to barf. Instead, he felt warm and happy. Honestly, he wouldn’t have minded getting up and going to help with breakfast, he just wanted to lay there with Eddie for a bit longer. “Let’s just lay in bed all day.”

“This isn’t even a bed, you dork,” it was an insult, but Eddie was laughing. He stopped protesting though, letting himself enjoy being close to Richie for a few more moments.

Richie shrugged at him, laughing along with the other boy. His laugh was contagious and it made Richie want to laugh right along with him, no matter what it was he said.

“Would you two stop fucking cuddling and come help us? Ben’s burnt all the pancakes and Eddies the only one who can make good scrambled eggs,” Stan’s yell from the kitchen broke through their laughter, bringing them back to reality.

“For a moment there, I forgot it wasn’t just you and me here,” Richie whispered, poking Eddie’s nose before sitting up and turning towards the kitchen. “I never thought I’d see the day where Stanley Uris asked me for help,” Richie got up and walked over to the kitchen, pushing Ben out of the way to take over the cooking of the pancakes.

Eddie just let himself lay on the floor for a moment, his stomach fluttering with the wings of what felt like a million butterflies. This had to be a dream. There was no way he just woke up to a cuddly Richie holding onto him. The butterflies slowly turned into knots the longer he laid there, remembering that all his friends had seen them lying there. He squeezed his eyes shut.  _ It’s okay, they still love you. They don’t think you’re gross. You’re not gross.  _ He repeated the mantra in his head,  _ you’re not gross, you’re not sick, you’re loved,  _ over and over again until he started to believe it. Plus, Richie had said they didn’t need to label themselves or anything- they could just be themselves together, and what better place to do that than with your best friends? He was already beginning to feel better.

“I swear to the heavens, Eddie, please come help us,” Stanley was desperately trying to crack an egg without getting shell into the bowl and failing miserably. 

Eddie forced himself to get up, slowly making his way to the kitchen. “Did your mother never teach you how to crack a fucking egg, Stan? It’s literally not difficult,” he grabbed the raw egg out of Stanley’s hand and cracked it expertly against the bowl, getting no shell in with the yolk. “You guys are helpless.”

Stanley and Ben left the kitchen, leaving behind Eddie, Richie, and Bev. Bill and Mike had left once Stanley had started yelling and instead chose to sit on the couch playing video games. Richie and Eddie were side by side at the stove, each of them cooking quietly. 

“Look at you two, you’re just like a cute married couple,” Bev joked and hopped up on the counter next to them. “I am just so happy to be witness to this.”

Eddie chewed nervously on the inside of his cheek. Were they a couple? He kind of liked the idea of it. Calling himself and Richie a couple seemed a bit better than calling themselves two peas in a pod. It sounded right.

“And I am just so happy you made me a cup of coffee,” Richie took the mug out of Bev’s hand and took a drink. “So thoughtful of you, Beverly, just so incredibly thoughtful.”

Bev rolled her eyes and grabbed the mug back. “I don’t hear either of you denying it.”

Eddie and Richie exchanged a glance. Richie didn’t want to speak for Eddie, and Eddie still didn’t know if couple was the right word to describe them. But he was pretty positive that’s what he wanted it to be.

“If we’re the cute married couple, are you the annoying child who puts their feet up on the counter? Cause that’s what I’m seeing. I’m seeing your nasty foot germs getting way too close to the pancakes,” Eddie was the one to reply, much to Richie’s surprise.

“Yeah, Bev, how disrespectful. I spent  _ so  _ much time cooking these wonderful pancakes for you, and you’re just getting your, what did you call them?” Richie looked over at Eddie before remembering, “nasty foot germs all over them. So rude.”

Bev once again rolled her eyes, hopping off the counter. “You two are meant to be, you know that? My feet are perfectly clean, thank you very much.” The words came out bitter, but she was laughing. “Let us know when it’s ready, yeah?”

Richie and Eddie replied with a “yeah” before going back to the food. They were quiet for a moment, each of them thinking about the night before.

“Is that what we are?” Eddie broke the silence. 

Richie looked over at him. His hair was still messy from the pillow, and he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Cute. “Hm?”

“A couple,” Eddie replied. “Is that what we are?”

“I told you, Eddie Spaghetti, we are whatever you want us to be. I am at your will,” Richie flipped the last pancake onto the plate. “But I definitely wouldn’t mind being a couple, I already told you you’re my Eddie.”

“Okay,” Eddie said simply, scooping the eggs into a bowl.

“Okay?” Richie asked, nudging the other boy with his shoulder.

“Okay, we’re a couple,” Eddie grabbed the bowl and walked over to the table, leaving a wide eyed Richie behind him.

“Wait-” Richie wasn’t done talking, but Eddie was already setting the eggs on the table. Richie had expected to wait weeks, maybe even months, for Eddie to decide what he wanted them to be. Not just a few hours. 

He caught up to Eddie and set the plate of pancakes on the table. “Like, a couple, couple? Like you’re my boyfriend kind of couple? Cause we don’t have to be a couple, couple if you don’t want, you know. If you’re not ready or whatever, we can just be, like, a secret couple? Is that a thing? If you want that to be a thing, it can definitely be a thing.”

Eddie laughed at Richie’s blabbering. It was cute when he was flustered since it rarely happened. “Call me your boyfriend again,” was all he said.

Richie smiled a bit, “Eddie, you’re my boyfriend.”

Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand, “Good, you’re mine too,” he smiled up at his newly pronounced boyfriend. “But maybe just around the losers for a while, yeah? I don’t think my mom would be too pleased, and neither would Bowers,” Eddie wanted this. He wanted to hold Richie’s hand whenever he wanted, but he didn’t want the outside world to ruin it.

“Yeah,” Richie kissed Eddie’s cheek, “just around the losers for a while.”

They stared at each other, once again forgetting they weren’t alone. “If you two are done, I would like a pancake,” Mike walked over, pushing the two of them out of the way.

Richie laughed, not letting go of Eddie’s hand. “Right, our bad. Breakfast’s ready!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while, my apologies! School got really busy for a second there, but thank you all so much for reading and for the love <3
> 
> I do want to write more for this but its finals week so it might take me a while to update! But I do plan on continuing this :)


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